{"id":2329,"date":"2009-08-11T13:00:31","date_gmt":"2009-08-11T12:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wanarun.net\/blog\/?p=2329"},"modified":"2018-10-15T05:29:10","modified_gmt":"2018-10-15T04:29:10","slug":"e-saga-de-lete-episode-915","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wanarun.net\/blog\/e-saga-de-lete-episode-915-2329.html","title":{"rendered":"e-saga de l’\u00e9t\u00e9 – Episode 9\/15"},"content":{"rendered":"

R\u00e9sum\u00e9 de l’\u00e9pisode pr\u00e9c\u00e9dent<\/strong> : nous avons laiss\u00e9 notre ami Steeve dans une de ces panades !\u00a0Voil\u00e0 qui est bien r\u00e9sum\u00e9 non ? Ah, on me signale toutefois que sa m\u00e8re est entr\u00e9e en action. Au temps pour moi. \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Pendant que Steeve commen\u00e7ait \u00e0 scruter la toile \u00e0 la recherche d’une m\u00e9thode \/ d’un truc \/ d’un m\u00e9dicament miracle (rayez la mention inutile, si tant est qu’il y en ait une) qui lui aurait autoris\u00e9 le mince espoir de courir \u00e0 la m\u00eame vitesse\u00a0que sa D\u00e9esse Ail\u00e9e, pendant ce temps, assez long d’ailleurs, Brad abdominait, d\u00e9velopp\u00e9-couchait, squatait, pressais, bicepsait, tricepsait, tirait, poussait, soulevait … bref, Brad se musclait. En apart\u00e9, il eut pu passer pour un intellectuel en affirmant qu’il ne regardait jamais la t\u00e9l\u00e9, ce qui \u00e9tait rigoureusement exact, s’il omettait \u00e9videmment de pr\u00e9ciser qu’il passait ses soir\u00e9es au FitClubForm et s’il n’ouvrait surtout plus la bouche apr\u00e8s le mot t\u00e9l\u00e9.<\/p>\n

Un observateur sagace aurait pu se demander pourquoi Brad se musclait encore tant il paraissait physiquement impossible de rajouter ne serait-ce que quelques milligrammes de muscles compl\u00e9mentaires sans risquer un \u00e9clatement de son enveloppe corporelle. Mais Brad n’avait cure des observateurs sagaces. Brad se musclait parce que le muscle, c’\u00e9tait sa vie, son oeuvre, sa religion. Qui plus est, ce n’\u00e9tait pas n’importe quel muscle, c’\u00e9tait du muscle rapide, capable, lui, de courir \u00e0 18km\/h. Un observateur un peu curieux pourrait, \u00e0 ce stade, se demander si ce muscle \u00e9tait un produit 100% bio. La question m\u00e9riterait sans doute d’\u00eatre soulev\u00e9e un jour mais elle n\u00e9cessiterait un d\u00e9veloppement un peu long et supposerait des connaissances chimiques que l’auteur ne ma\u00eetrise pas.\u00a0 L’observateur curieux n’aura donc pas de r\u00e9ponse aujourd’hui.<\/p>\n

Revenons donc \u00e0 Brad qui se musclait ou plut\u00f4t qui passait sa frustration sur les machines mises \u00e0 sa disposition, moyennant une modeste cotisation mensuelle de 150 Euros, par FitClubForm. Les pauvres g\u00e9missaient tant elles souffraient mais que pouvaient-elles faire contre un Brad \u00e0 ce point d\u00e9cha\u00een\u00e9 ? Quand il pressait 247 kilos, c’\u00e9tait Steeve Profit qu’il \u00e9crasait, quand il d\u00e9velopp\u00e9-couchait 156 kilos, c’\u00e9tait Steeve Profit qu’il soulevait dans les airs pour le projeter \u00e0 l’autre bout de la terre … Brad s’\u00e9tait donc trouv\u00e9 une sacr\u00e9e source de motivation exog\u00e8ne. Abandonnons-le un instant, car la musculation, \u00e0 vrai dire, ce n’est franchement pas passionnant \u00e0 regarder.<\/p>\n

Comme \u00e0 son habitude, chaque lundi soir, Priscilla s’entra\u00eenait avec son amie Sharon. Vous allez sans doute vous dire, piti\u00e9, non, pas encore une fille qui court \u00e0 18 km\/h ! Et bien vous auriez tort, car le lundi soir pour Priscilla, c’\u00e9tait le traditionnel\u00a0footing de r\u00e9cup\u00e9ration, \u00e0 une\u00a0petite vitesse\u00a0tranquille de 13-14km\/h pas plus. Ce qui permettait aux deux amies de discuter tout en courant, ou pour le moins, ce qui permettait \u00e0 Priscilla de parler, sans risquer d’\u00eatre contredite puisqu’il faut bien\u00a0l’avouer, Sharon,\u00a0 \u00e0 110% de sa VMA<\/a> pendant une heure n’\u00e9tait pas capable d’articuler le moindre son.<\/p>\n

La discussion, le monologue, du jour portait bien \u00e9videmment sur le double bon tour que Priscilla avait jou\u00e9 en fin de matin\u00e9e. Et pif pour Brad, qui l’avait franchement m\u00e9rit\u00e9, et paf pour Steeve, qui ne l’avait pas encore m\u00e9rit\u00e9, mais de mani\u00e8re pr\u00e9ventive, \u00e7a ne peut pas faire de tort. Priscilla rayonnait. Oubli\u00e9e la victoire des Dugenoux. C’\u00e9tait qui la meilleure maintenant ? Hein ? C’\u00e9tait qui ? C’\u00e9tait qui ?<\/p>\n

Lorsque Sharon\u00a0eut enfin retrouv\u00e9 son souffle, vingt bonnes minutes apr\u00e8s la fin de la s\u00e9ance, elle ne manqua pas de s’\u00e9tonner du sort fait \u00e0 Steeve, ce nouveau voisin de bureau que Priscilla lui avait d\u00e9crit comme un gar\u00e7on \u00e0 l’air sympathique, pas trop mal et sans histoire (tiens, tiens …). \u00ab\u00a0Il \u00e9tait l\u00e0 au mauvais moment, que veux-tu que je te dise\u00a0\u00bb.<\/p>\n

FIN DE L’EPISODE<\/p>\n

Apr\u00e8s cet aimable interlude dans les salles de musculation et les parcs municipaus, le prochain \u00e9pisode nous\u00a0 verra retourner \u00e9videmment dans la chambre de Steeve …<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

O\u00f9 on va – enfin ! – parler de Brad … un peu. O\u00f9 on d\u00e9couvre une autre facette du caract\u00e8re de la Divine. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[164],"tags":[288,163,9885,284],"yoast_head":"\ne-saga de l'\u00e9t\u00e9 - Episode 9\/15<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"O\u00f9 on va - enfin ! - parler de Brad ... un peu. 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