{"id":2326,"date":"2009-08-07T13:00:52","date_gmt":"2009-08-07T11:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wanarun.net\/blog\/?p=2326"},"modified":"2009-07-22T21:41:06","modified_gmt":"2009-07-22T19:41:06","slug":"e-saga-de-lete-episode-815","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wanarun.net\/blog\/e-saga-de-lete-episode-815-2326.html","title":{"rendered":"e-saga de l’\u00e9t\u00e9 – Episode 8\/15"},"content":{"rendered":"

R\u00e9sum\u00e9 des \u00e9pisodes pr\u00e9c\u00e9dents<\/strong> : \u00ab\u00a0– Et bien, Laurent, nous voici arriv\u00e9s maintenant \u00e0 mi-course. Alors,\u00a0que retenir de ces premi\u00e8res \u00e9tapes ?<\/em><\/p>\n

– Ecoutez, Thierry, je dirais qu’on a v\u00e9cu, jusqu’\u00e0 pr\u00e9sent,\u00a0une p\u00e9riode d’observation. Les favoris de l’\u00e9preuve ne se sont pas encore d\u00e9couverts totalement. Priscilla a bien plac\u00e9 quelques banderilles, mais rien de d\u00e9cisif.\u00a0 Disons, qu’elle a surtout cherch\u00e9 \u00e0 montrer le maillot. Steeve a pris quelques initiatives mais souvent \u00e0 contretemps. Quant \u00e0 Brad, comme d’habitude, il est rest\u00e9 cal\u00e9 bien sagement dans les roues. J’attends beaucoup des \u00e9tapes qui arrivent. S’ils veulent l’emporter, c’est maintenant que les leaders doivent attaquer. \u00ab\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Steeve n’arrivait d\u00e9cid\u00e9ment pas \u00e0 avaler sa salade de wakam\u00e9 piqu\u00e9e de d\u00e9s de tofu et de lentilles corail sauce concombre jaune, l’un des plats favoris de sa m\u00e8re. Il retournait et retournait les dits d\u00e9s de tofu, comme il retournait sans cesse les m\u00eames pens\u00e9es dans sa t\u00eate. Et c’est bien ce retournement continu de d\u00e9s de tofu qui avait mis la puce\u00a0\u00e0 l’oreille de Mme Profit m\u00e8re, car des d\u00e9s de tofu n’ont bien entendu pas pour vocation premi\u00e8re d’\u00eatre retourn\u00e9s, sauf, entre autre,\u00a0par un \u00eatre tracass\u00e9 – un enfant fac\u00e9tieux aurait pu \u00eatre \u00e9galement l’auteur d’un tel retournement mais \u00e0 27 ans, Steeve, pouvait difficilement pr\u00e9tendre \u00e0 ce statut. Son fils avait donc un probl\u00e8me et foi de v\u00e9g\u00e9talienne, elle saurait le faire parler avant la fin de la soir\u00e9e. L’attaque directe s’\u00e9tant r\u00e9v\u00e9l\u00e9e vaine, une autre strat\u00e9gie s’imposait. Premi\u00e8re \u00e9tape : la marinade. Prenez un fils tracass\u00e9, l’amener \u00e0 temp\u00e9rature ambiante dans sa chambre durant 2 heures environ, r\u00e9servez.<\/p>\n

Apr\u00e8s avoir d\u00e9clar\u00e9 qu’il n’avait pas tr\u00e8s faim ce soir, qu’il se sentait barbouill\u00e9, sans doute un truc pas catholique qu’il avait mang\u00e9 \u00e0 la cantine, Steeve partir s’enfermer dans sa chambre afin de r\u00e9fl\u00e9chir au calme – non que sa m\u00e8re soit une personne particuli\u00e8rement bruyante mais sa curiosit\u00e9 naturelle n’aurait de cesse d’\u00eatre satisfaite – \u00e0 la situation et tenter de construire l’amorce de l’\u00e9bauche d’une \u00e9ventuelle possibilit\u00e9 de solution. Ses amis Google et Bing allaient devoir lui apporter tout l’aide dont il avait bien besoin en ces instants d\u00e9licats.<\/p>\n

Rechercher \u00ab\u00a0courir \u00e0 18 km\/h en une semaine\u00a0\u00bb … Votre recherche n’a pu aboutir. Veuillez s’il vous pla\u00eet reformuler la question. Bon, ce n’\u00e9tait visiblement pas gagn\u00e9. \u00ab\u00a0Courir \u00e0 18km\/h\u00a0\u00bb. 47423 r\u00e9ponses. Voil\u00e0 qui \u00e9tait mieux. Allons-y. Alors, plan d’entra\u00eenement en 6 s\u00e9ances par semaine pendant 4 mois. Trop long. Plan d’entra\u00eenement en 5 s\u00e9ances par semaines pendant 4 mois. Trop long, trop long, trop long, toujours trop long !<\/p>\n

Rechercher \u00ab\u00a0running, am\u00e9liorer sa vitesse\u00a0\u00bb. 123545 r\u00e9ponses. Les plans d’entra\u00eenement, c’est bon, on passe. Ah \u00ab\u00a0La FCMaxite am\u00e9liore de 87,34 % vos performances.\u00a0\u00bb Voil\u00e0 qui semblait plus prometteur. \u00ab\u00a0Prouv\u00e9 scientifiquement\u00a0\u00bb. Et par le professeur Dugland, sp\u00e9cialiste mondial de m\u00e9decine de la performance sportive. Tiens, c’est curieux, il bosse \u00e0 l’h\u00f4pital de St Marcel les Maillots et le distributeur de\u00a0FCMaxite est aussi \u00e0 St Marcel les Maillots. Coincidence sans doute. Le premier flacon est offert. Cool ! Si vous achetez tout de suite les 15 suivants pour la modique somme de … gasp !!! Ah oui, quand m\u00eame !\u00a0Passons au suivant, \u00ab\u00a0Run Faster with BoosterPill\u00a0\u00bb livr\u00e9e sous pli discret et payable uniquement par pr\u00e9l\u00e8vement automatique, adresse au Nig\u00e9ria. OK, d’accord, je vois.<\/p>\n

123545 sites plus tard, Steeve s’\u00e9tait enfin fait une raison, courir \u00e0 18km\/h en une semaine n’\u00e9tait visiblement pas d’une \u00e9vidence rarissime\u00a0encore moins\u00a0d’une simplicit\u00e9 biblique. La marinade \u00e9tait \u00e0 point.<\/p>\n

Deuxi\u00e8me \u00e9tape : le grill. Prenez un fils tracass\u00e9, bien marin\u00e9. S’en emparer, par la ruse, car l’animal, m\u00eame s’il pr\u00e9sente tous les\u00a0signes de l’amorphisme\u00a0peut \u00eatre cependant \u00e0 ce stade relativement rev\u00eache, le d\u00e9pit comme source de col\u00e8re si vous pr\u00e9f\u00e9rez. Lorsque vous vous en \u00eates empar\u00e9, larder le alors de questions jusqu’\u00e0 ce qu’il finisse par craquer et vous avouer la cause de ses tourments. Passer alors \u00e0 la troisi\u00e8me \u00e9tape.<\/p>\n

FIN DE L’EPISODE<\/p>\n

Dans le prochain \u00e9pisode, nous d\u00e9couvrirons ce qu’est cette fameuse troisi\u00e8me \u00e9tape, \u00e0 moins que nous n’allions rejoindre Priscilla ou mieux encore Brad, qui pour l’instant, n’a jou\u00e9 qu’un r\u00f4le mineur de faire-valoir. \u00ab\u00a0Passer 3 heures en salle de muscu pour\u00a0se faire avaloir, c’est pas cool !\u00a0\u00bb<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"<\/a>

O\u00f9 Steeve passe \u00e0 l’action … Ben ouais quoi, quand on est dans la mouise, il faut bien essayer d’en sortir … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[164],"tags":[290,163,9885,29,284,9828],"yoast_head":"\ne-saga de l'\u00e9t\u00e9 - Episode 8\/15<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"O\u00f9 Steeve passe \u00e0 l'action ... 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